Since I am wont to share strange tidbits from my real life here, I thought I’d let you in on my six year old daughter’s nightmare last night. She woke me about three a.m., whimpering, and said, “Mommy, I had a bad dream.”
“Really?” I asked, all a-grog.
“Yes, Mommy. I dreamed you cut off Riley’s bottom (Riley is three.)”
I sat bolt upright in bed. “What???” I said, now wide awake.
“Uh, huh, you cut off Riley's bottom, and then you told her, ‘I’m sorry, Riley, but you’ll just have to be bottomless.’”
So if you ever wondered if I was ruthless—in negotiation, as a mother, as a human—you now know to protect your beloved backside in my presence.